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Planeswalker Punk

by Everything Sideways

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1.
99 cards and got your commander Into this battle four will enter One will end up victorious Leave the others in a flash of dust Scope out your enemies see their leaders Shuffle up, you’re gonna make em feel it Who will bite? Who will crack? All in now there’s no turning back One versus three! It’s all up to me! Free for all! Watch them fall! It will be my victory! Dropping duals and playing tutors All the others are after you yeah Build your ramp and clear the board Set the scene for your zombie hoard Now it’s time to take each one down No time to waste no time to clown Turn em sideways they go to zero You win the game the righteous hero 1 versus 3 it’s all up to me Free for all, watch them fall, it will be my victory
2.
This is a song for all of those who felt they’ve been wronged Just for playing a game they’ve loved so long So don’t give a fuck about those other clowns Keep your head high and don’t look to the ground We are one, we’re here together Our magic bonds will never sever Doin your thing just as you please Bringin your deck each every week Don’t listen to what others say Sleeve up your cards let’s sit and play I know sometimes that your friends don’t feel so near Remember something that isn’t always clear Look to your left and go to your right These are the ones you need in your life Planeswalkers care about each other Never changes no matter hour Doin your thing just as you please Bringin your deck each every week Don’t listen to what others say Sleeve up your cards let’s sit and play This is a song for all of those who felt they’ve been wronged Just for playing a game they’ve loved so long Doin your thing just as you please Bringin your deck each every week Don’t listen to what others say Sleeve up your cards let’s sit and play
3.
Mox Pearl 02:20
Blizzard of 96 Two feet of snow got us holed in I grabbed my shovel, grabbed some bros And we went out to make some dough Went up to each house we found, Said we’d shovel to the ground Some said yes and some said no For those who did, gave it a go Five straight days of breaking back, my limbs felt like they were gonna crack But I was young and I was tough It didn’t seem to matter much By the end of those five days Oh man did I get really paid I had a hundred bucks of mine Gotta spend it all on a card this time. Went on down to the bottom floor, Smelled my cash a little more I threw it in the air so high, I let it rain like I could die Never had this much before Gotta get my dad to the local store I gave him all the cash I had, told him the card that he should grab Mox Pearl from Unlimited I really really wanted it I don’t know what I did with it I probably went and traded it for some bullshit cards now all worthless I can’t believe that ended it Sad but true, I hate to say That I probably gave that card away For a bunch of crappy other ones I don’t think they’re worth a dime Now it’s worth three thousand bucks, I know that I’ve run out of luck To get another mox like that It was the best I ever had Mox Pearl from Unlimited I really really wanted it I don’t know what I did with it I probly went and traded it for some bullshit cards now all worthless I can’t believe that ended it
4.
Sometimes when you play and you don’t know what to do You just gotta lay em on the table and see if it will work for you Tap your mana, Play your cards, cast your guys and swing em all That’s the only way to your opponent’s downfall! Everyone attacks there’s no time to waste on blocking No one left behind now there’s no room at all for mocking When you attack with it all there’s no thinking Red and green, Green and black, Red and black, All out attack! Let the math fall to the chump on the other side Don’t waste your brain no time at all just go all in and let it ride Adding, subtracting it gets so distracting Everything Sideways Counterspells and drawing cards, nah man that’s not for me Zombie horde all out attack, no regrets no turning cheek Disenchanting playing white, stay away from here Big ass dudes are coming through, trampling your fear Everyone attacks there’s no time to waste on blocking No one left behind now there’s no room at all for mocking When you attack with it all there’s no thinking Red and green, Green and black, Red and black, All out attack! Let the math fall to the chump on the other side Don’t waste your brain no time at all just go all in and let it ride Adding, subtracting it gets so distracting Everything Sideways
5.
This song is about playing the blues Not just any old blues I’m talkin about playin the blues Cuz playin blue Gives me the blues Because I don’t know what to do When I’m playin blue That’s why I got the Magic Blues I don’t know how to play the blues That’s why I’m singing to you Drawing cards and flying men Bouncing cards back to your hand Don’t even know my win condition But counter spells are my ignition I got the blues from playin the blues
6.
I’m getting ready for Saturday night I’m gonna pull out the stuff to get right Got the gang comin over for a magic time We’re gonna drink some beers and play it right Set up the tables and hang the lights We’re gonna crack our packs right outside Just on time the crew walks in Ready to throw down, let’s get it in This is all about Escape from life Play your cards and let’s make it right Eight of us Playing all night long Let’s keep it going on and on! I’m here with my gang on a Saturday night And it doesn’t matter if I win this fight It’s all about our time right here I wish it wouldn’t end listen clear Eight of us all hanging out There’s no shouting, there’s no pouts Slingin cardboard on a beautiful night All along it feels just right Open the packs and pass the cards Gonna make my picks gonna try real hard To beat these guys can’t ever seem to win I’ll just keep on trying again and again Make my deck I think I’ll win this time Even though there’s nothing on the line Only prize we have is pride And a blow up trophy that you can sign Match it up Draw your cards Turn em sideways and see how it goes Eight of us Playing all night long Let’s keep it going on and on! I’m here with my bros on a Saturday night And it doesn’t matter if I win this fight It’s all about our time right here I wish it wouldn’t end listen clear Eight of us all hanging out There’s no shouting, there’s no pouts Slingin cardboard on a beautiful night All along it feels just right Dads and Joes drunks and bros All of us goin toe to toe Here again for another go I’m here with my gang on a Saturday night And it doesn’t matter if I win this fight It’s all about our time right here I wish it wouldn’t end listen clear Eight of us all hanging out There’s no shouting, there’s no pouts Slingin cardboard on a beautiful night All along it feels just right
7.
Wait all year for MagicFest to come Finally comes around to your home Scan the events and sign up for them all Gonna bring it each round and have ball Sealed, constructed, pauper too Vintage, legacy, it’s what you choose But you really know just what to do Sign up quick and make it to day two MagicFest Beat the rest Make Top 8 Disintegrate Want to rule? It’s up to you Win your match You’re the Mythic Champ Congrats my friend you made the second day But you’re beat down tired, how much can you take Six more rounds with the same old deck Gotta focus now, gotta beat the rest One by one you keep on knockin em down Keep your focus don’t look around Here it comes it’s now your final match It’s your last chance to win that cash MagicFest Beat the rest Make Top 8 Disintegrate Want to rule? It’s up to you Win your match You’re the Mythic Champ
8.
Now that I’m older And a little grayer I think back to when I was younger All that I wanted Was a single pack to crack Think about it, it takes me back To a time that was simple When I had dimples Playing magic at ten years old Now I see them Their little faces And their excitement just like I used to have Sometimes when I see them With their parents at the store It makes me wonder How could they ask for more? It makes me smile A parent and child bond I just hope that it keeps going on It’s a time that was simple When they have dimples Playing magic at ten years old Now I see them Their little faces And their excitement just like I used to have It’s a time that’s simple When we all had dimples From playing magic at ten years old Now we see them Their little faces And their excitement just like I used to have

credits

released October 18, 2022

Vocals, Guitar, Bass Guitar, Drums - Parker Schaffel
Mixing/Mastering - Modern Nihilism Recordings

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Everything Sideways Virginia

Everything Sideways, with its late-90s skate punk vibe, is the solo effort of veteran punk rocker Parker Schaffel. With influences from the iconic skate punk bands like Bad Religion, Offspring and Blink-182, be prepared to put on your Vans, grab your skateboard, and hit the streets with the upbeat fast songs from Everything Sideways! ... more

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